I remember my brother telling me that once a person hit his or her 20s, the age will just flash by. It’s true but when one hits 30s, time, really flies; like sh|t really goes by without we knowing it.
I used to worry getting old. Wrinkles? Yes. Being single? Yes. Will I have enough money? Yes. Will I ever have a child? Yes. Nitty gritty things really. I had this idea of writing this entry after listening to Lorde’s Ribs. After a further research, I found this MTV interview which she did and she opened up about the song.
So, she likes getting old. But then again, this is coming from a 16 year old so of course she is not worried of getting old at this point. Give her another 10 years at the very least. By then, she’s rich and most probably, again, she won’t be worried of getting old.
I think the key to being able to get old and be happy is well… to be happy in your own skin. How did I start this journey of being happy?
In my early 20s, I struggled. I struggled lots because I had wanted acceptance from everyone. And I’m always at the forefront of the paper chase. I gave up family, love and personal happiness just to be able to be the best employee. It hit hard when my parents got a divorce while I was overseas for work. That had been a rough week. I was living out of a suitcase. I was in Kuala Lumpur from Thursday to Sunday before my dad called to tell me that my mom had asked him for a divorce on that Saturday. I told him that I will talk to mom when I returned home. When I reached home on Sunday evening, my mom was nowhere to be found and I had to pack for Sydney. On Monday evening, I flew out. Then on Wednesday, my mom texted me to tell me that she had already filed for a divorce. Just like that, 32 years of marriage had gone down the drain and I regret the choices that I’ve made for the past 28 years of my life.
I refuse to indulge why they had gotten the divorce. That is private and it’s our family affair.
When something so personal like this happened, it’ll make you stop and think of your next move. Not just that, what’s after that and then after that? So what did I do? I took a step back. And the first step is to tell myself that I ought to be happy with whatever I want to do. I also make a conscious effort to include my family members in my daily life. For example, I make sure that my own life is all Mondays to Fridays. I should do things I want on the weekdays. Friends and significant others come after work and on Saturday. Family day is Sunday so nothing else should interfere. Over time, significant others can be mixed with Sunday as well because significant others should be classified as family if and when it happens.
I also refuse to do a 14-16 hours on a work day. No more. I need time for me, myself and I. I focus on work in that 8-9 hours and sometimes if I have to, I will work 12 hours per day but that is as rare as it comes. I found that when you focus more in that 8 hours, you produce better work.
I start to eat properly as well. I make sure that I have 3 meals a day and never scrimping on food. If I want to eat steak, I choose the best restaurant in town. But with all the food, I start exercising as well. I visit the gym, run when I have the time and even participate in any sorts of sports activities which my friends invite me to. As you’ve known, recently, I’ve picked up rock climbing.
It’s a huge change in lifestyle to ensure that I’m happy as I get older. A huge paradigm shift. I can safely say that I’m all in. I’m ready.
How about you? Are you happy getting old? Are you ready for it?