When it hits, it hits you hard like a b|tch.
So, it’s been nearly 3 months that S and I have gone our separate ways, yes is has. There are days where I miss him a little too much, then there are days where I am happy to be where I am right now. But usually, the initial feeling will always be the one that hits me hard. I call these moments the 5 minutes meltdown.
I mean it’s hard. We were together 2.5 years. I can’t just get over him in just a blink of an eye right? We’ve built dreams, met each other’s family and friends so it’s just hard. So when these 5 minutes meltdown starts creeping in, I’ll usually just take a deep breath, close my eyes for that moment and breathe out. Sometimes, I cry just to let the emotions out. And just like that, it’ll get better. Like today, I had a couple of these 5 minutes meltdown moments just because it’s Saturday since weekends used to be our time together. Sometimes in these moments, I wonder what he’s doing at that time. Maybe he’s out with someone new or maybe, like me, he’s also having these 5 minutes meltdown moments. Then, I pushed these thoughts aside and just focus on moving forward. After that, I’ll feel better.
I’m sure these 5 minutes meltdown moments will eventually go away. After all, the initial heartbreak and sleepless nights are all things of the past. It will be gone. And when it’s gone, I know with it, these feelings for S will also fade away.