I’ve been listening to Katy Perry’s latest album Prism for awhile now. There’s only one reason why I’ve been listening to it; solely because of the lyrics that comes with these three songs: By The Grace Of God, It Takes Two and Unconditionally.
If you’ve read all my previous entries, you would know why. It’s because of the painful breakup that I’m going through. I’ve not said the previous sentence in the past tense because personally, I think I am still emotionally going through it.
While looking through throngs of write ups and reports about Prism, it’s uncanny how Katy Perry was going through the same emotions as I am while she was recording the album. I like the fact that there’s some very personal stuff on the album and then it ends with a very positive note. Some days, I do need all the positivity that the world could give me.
I admit that when shit first hits the roof, it was one of the darkest time in my life. There were days where I couldn’t even get out of bed and wanted to be alone. I’ll cry behind closed doors – not wanting my mom to know, on the bathroom floor with my heart hurting so badly, wondering where exactly did everything went wrong. To make matters worst, my bestfriend who is my brother had just relocated to Shanghai and I couldn’t reach him. That’s when I started to listen to By The Grace Of God and learn to accept the fact that it was never my fault in the first place. I might have given up on him (S, the ex) but I shouldn’t be giving up on myself and Him. And I started to look up to where I am right now.
As much as I’ve mentioned that the breakup was never my fault in the first place, I also know that I do play a role although not significantly. It’s two people in a relationship so of course, it takes two to make things happen or not. That’s when I fell in love with It Takes Two.
I faced my demons, yeah, I paid my dues
I had to grow up, I wish you could too
I wanted to save you, but I can only save myself
Oh, I can only be the changing one to see
There’s always two sides to every story but the story that I would be sticking by is that I needed something more that he couldn’t give. After a long while, you stop the finger pointing and accept the fact that it also takes two for a relationship to crumble. It’s not you or me who was at fault, it’s us. Ultimately, you learn to forgive and hopefully move on.
I needed a big break. A reason to look forward to. That’s when Unconditionally and I totally hit it off. I know that there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. The next time love comes, it would be better, greater and as cliche as it sounds, unconditional. Not that I’m saying I’ve not been loving my exes unconditionally. What I meant is that I am still going to love unconditionally. There shouldn’t be fear and acceptance is the key to be truly free. As what Katy Perry had said in the song, “so open up your heart and just let it begin….”
Thank you, Katy Perry.