Rediscovering

These couple of weeks have been really mental. Work, family, Eid and everything else just came rolling in.

This year’s Eid celebration was pretty quiet. Mom, Hans and I tried to squeeze in everything in the first week just because Hans is only around for a week. We visited dad before going over to our aunt’s home – it’s the first time I visited him for Hari Raya. The last time I did it was probably the first year when mom and dad got divorced.
It’s good to be able to meet all our cousins and other relatives after a long time. You know that warm and fuzzy feeling inside you? Yes, it feels exactly like that. Just nice and normal.

I had designed and tailor-made my own baju kebaya this year because unlike years before, I know that I should move on with my life. It doesn’t matter what the situation was before, I just have to look forward. Make the full use of what life is… and it works. I do feel better when I soaked in to the Eid atmosphere and celebrate the true meaning of Eid. Afterall, I did fast.

There is this sudden sadness that is sweeping me as well. Fasting month has left and I’m not sure if I could still see it next year – I mean no one ever knows right? The holy month lets us repent our sins and give us the strength to be the person who we want to be; who we know we should be. And who we know we can be. Ramadhan humbled me and for that, I will always look back and remember this special Ramadhan. I found something in myself – a restored a stronger faith in God. الله أكبر (Allahu Akbar) = God is Great.

First Day of Eid
First Day of Eid with Hans

I’m steering pitches after pitches at work. So many new business that we are haunting for and since I’ve cited that new business is what I like to be doing on top of my everyday job, so what else? I’m being pinpointed to do it all. Can’t complain about it but it’s not fabulous especially if you have current ongoing work as well. I clock in 12-13 hours on an average day – although I think I almost sound like a lawyer. No wonder I’m still single! Sometimes I forget lunch and at times, I forgot to pay my bills! The craziness have been throwing me off my routine and I am rather uncomfortable with that. Yes, OCD.

Since Eid happened just this past Monday, my brother came home to celebrate with us. Now that he lives in Shanghai, spending time with him is precious. I miss him when he’s gone especially since he is my bestfriend. We know everything about each other and frankly, I don’t think there’s any secrets between us. Now that he’s going back on Sunday, the depression of losing him again is kicking in, fast.
Life goes on and the next time I’ll see him will be in September for his birthday.

Anyway…if you’re a Muslim and you follow and read my blog, here’s wishing you a blissful Eid Mubarak.
Be kind to one another.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s