There’s so many life lessons that I can write about but because relationships have always been the core of my blog entries, I’ll write about it.
The question is what is after a broken relationship? After you’ve come up up for air? After the pain has disappeared, what’s next?
Life begins yet again.
In actuality, life did not stop. It moves forward but your life seems to be on hold ever since you’re trying to get over the broken relationship. I’m not talking about the day after you’ve realised that you need to start living again. I’m talking about the 3-6 months after that. What are you supposed to do with your life? Sure, you’re living. You’re going out to meet new people, spending more time with friends and just getting on with life. Yes, you’re happy but you still have this ‘baggage’ which you realised that you need to move forward from. So what do you do with it?
1) Stop the blame game
It’s no one’s fault. There are so many reasons why a relationship didn’t work out. Different opinions in life, cheating, someone grew up etc. But understand that when a relationship do not work out, it’s not because it’s his/her or your fault. It’s just because one of you don’t love each other enough to make the relationship work. When you stop blaming, you’ll start accepting. And when you’ve start to accept, you will realise that it’s better that it didn’t work out now rather than later. Acceptance is the final form of forgiveness. Think about it.
2) Forgive and forget
Forgiving is easy. Forgetting is not but if you don’t forget, it means you’ve never forgiven in the first place. It meant that you’ve never accepted what had happened. Let the anger go and you’ll forget.
3) Be happy once they’ve moved forward
This is hard, I know. I’ve lived it, I would know, trust me. It may take you longer to move forward but last weekend, you heard from a friend that your ex is already out and about. It hurts like a b|tch, no? You want to throw something on the wall? Why bother? You have to clean it up. Just be happy for that person since he/she is trying to get on with life without you. You never know what the ex had gone through to bounce back. Both of you have nothing more to cling on to, so what else can you do? Just be happy for the ex and in no time, you will be at peace with that decision.
4) Don’t regret the decisions made
For whatever decisions that you’ve made when you’re in the relationship, never regret it. We get to choose everything in life. The decisions that you’ve made during the relationship was also a choice. Sure, then you have someone’s opinion but ultimately, it was a choice that you’ve made with a sound mind. Even if it was the wrong decision, it’s all part of life and part of growing up. Just make new plans with it. And you’ll never know, the worst decisions then, will have a good outcome now.
5) Be positive
Yes, you will end up with someone else, eventually. Love will find you again. ’nuff said.
6) Never stop the love
The main reason why you’re hurting is because you still love him/her. Don’t stop the love then. Why should you stop? Feelings should never change. Love that person like a human being should be loved. Like how you would love a friend, a family or even an enemy. Love that person from afar and you will start to understand that loving in that way is the truest form of love – no reciprocation needed. And you will stop being hurt. Just try.
I know the points above are easier said then done. But I’ve lived it and I can promise you that it gets better. It is the truth. In fact, with positive thinking, everything will just get better. Just remember to love. Love yourself first before loving someone else. You don’t stop loving because you stopped being in a relationship. In fact, I urge you to love more and it will come back to you tenfolds. Good luck.